Try Not to Say "Try"

I recently overheard a client say to an employee, “I’ll try to send that data to you by the end of the day.”

Not wanting to miss a coachable moment, I asked her what she meant. She seemed confused by my question. “Well,” I said, “did you make a commitment just now or did you not?”

She explained she intended to complete the task, but she had several other matters to complete by the end of the day, so it was possible she would not get to it. I then asked the employee if he needed the information. “Yes,” he said, “I cannot proceed without it, and we have a deadline tomorrow.” In a few more minutes we found a way to get him the information without involving his boss. He would have it faster; she would have one less to-do.

A few days later, the client sent me an email quoting George P. Burnham: “I can’t do it” never yet accomplished anything. “I will try” has accomplished wonders.

She seemed to be telling me that there is nothing wrong with the phrase, “I’ll try.” After all, we grew up with the story of the Little Engine that could, the one who kept chanting, “I think I can. I think I can.” As Burnham suggests, “I’ll try” is powerful and courageous when one is undertaking a difficult journey or project.

However, when we apply “I’ll try” to routine promises, the phrase becomes a hedge, an excuse, an admission of weakness or a lack of commitment. For example, if I say, “I’ll try to attend the meeting,” I might be intentionally or unconsciously sending any of the following messages:

• I don’t really have much control over my schedule and other commitments, so I cannot or will not make a firm commitment.
• I am not sure I really want to come to the meeting, so saying “I’ll try” gives me an excuse to bail out later if something better comes along.
• I am pretty sure I cannot attend the meeting, but I just hate to say “no” to anyone. Isn’t it more polite to say, “I’ll try?”
• Everyone knows that when I say, “I’ll try to be there,” I am really saying “I probably will not be able to attend.” It’s obvious.
• I really do intend to attend, but I would rather not set that expectation in case something unexpected happens and I am late or have to cancel. I don’t want to disappoint you.
• I value modesty and am uncomfortable with assertive statements. People might think I’m arrogant.

These are possible meanings – there may be more. The point is that vague, non-specific, uncommitted language creates confusion, inefficiency and mistrust. If a culture is characterized by a heavy dose of such language, imagine how difficult it must be to get anything done. In contrast, picture the competitive advantage that might accrue to a person who makes short, simple promises and acts consistently with those commitments. For example:

• “I will be at the meeting.” (And arrive on time.)
• “I will send you a proposal by close of business Wednesday.” (And deliver it on time.)
• “I cannot meet your deadline without incurring additional expenses or compromising other projects. Would it work for you to add an additional week to the timeline?” (Know your limits, speak them without apology, and stay open to the possibility of creative problem-solving with the other party.)

Suggestion: For one week, try to avoid using the word “try”. Better yet, just do it.