‘Tis the season to give thanks. The attitude of gratitude is a powerful posture on both the personal and professional levels.
I’ve known people who are very self-focused. The psychological term for this is narcissism. For such individuals, life is a play in which they are the Star. They see everyone else as supporting cast whose primary job is to make them look and feel good. When things go badly, the Star can only see the personal damage sustained and quickly finds scapegoats. “How could they do this to me.” Such people are not much fun to be around. Perhaps you know one or two.
On the flip side, those who see that they are but one in a cast of thousands, in a complex plot that is perhaps unfathomable, tend to take themselves less seriously. Consequently, they find it easy to give thanks, to appreciate, to acknowledge. They find it easy to see the glass as half-full. They might even be grateful when the glass is only ¼ full; at least they have something to drink. These people are not necessarily lacking in ambition or self-confidence. But they’ve reflected on life, on history, on the Enormity of things. And they’ve come to a conclusion that Life is Vast and it would be presumptuous to take things too seriously. Sometimes their thankfulness is spiritually based (humility being a virtue in every legitimate religion); sometimes it is pragmatic.
How does this apply in the workplace? Employee surveys for decades have revealed that when someone leaves a job, the number one reason is NOT money. Much higher on the list is they do not feel appreciated by their boss. Human beings CRAVE appreciation, recognition and acknowledgement. Is it any wonder that the boss who is too busy to express appreciation does not elicit great warmth and loyalty?
On the continuum between self-centered and grateful/humble, most managers and leaders are somewhere in the middle. That’s a good thing, but here’s the problem. In these turbulent times, many bosses are so overwhelmed and over-worked, that even if they are inclined to express gratitude, their good intentions are thwarted by a hectic pace and more compelling (or so it seems) priorities.
So, how about using the excuse of Thanksgiving to catch people doing things right, and well. This should not be done as a shallow, hollow “thanks” or “great job.” Instead find an authentic way to acknowledge brilliant work, or extra effort, or even a bright, engaging attitude. Let people know they make your life easier, or more enjoyable. Even under-performers possess virtues, and as human beings they want and need encouragement and appreciation. Time enough for critical-but-fair feedback later, during performance reviews.
While passing around praise is good for business – Gallup research shows that employees who feel appreciated are more productive and more engaged – it’s also good for your own state of mind. People who are grateful and appreciative of life’s bounties tend to be happy. This state of mind does not come from outside. We’re not talking here about, “I’m hitting my numbers so I am happy.” Instead, happiness occurs no matter what is happening in your external circumstances. It is a conscious choice, an attitude of gratitude. Words spoken with intention and resolve have incredible power. Simply by declaring yourself happy and grateful, you bring that spirit into being.
In this spirit of gratitude, I want to express deep appreciation to my clients, whose stories and lessons find their way into these posts. You give my world profound meaning. I am thankful to my teachers and mentors. You have challenged and inspired me to stretch and grow. And finally, I am grateful to my friends and family for enthusiastic support and fun on the journey. Special thanks to my wife, Melissa, who is beautiful and wise, powerful and compassionate; a true work of Art.
Life is good. There is much for which to be Thankful.